So you have your seersucker suit, your Derby hat, your bowtie, your saddle shoes and a sweet belt with sailboats or some shit like that on it. You just got finished with a bunch of Natural Lights and you are wondering how you are going to blow your Pick 4 winnings in the time between the Derby and the Fight (Go PacMan). You are in the middle of the best sports day of the year. In short, you are having an awesome Derby Day. But what’s missing from this picture? That’s right, the official drink of the Kentucky Derby, the mint julep. But you can’t just have any normal mint julep – you have a seersucker suit on for God’s sakes. You need to have a Thorobros mint julep. And boy do we have some juleps for you. 
I went to my first Kentucky Derby in 2012. The Derby – like many horse racing events – is a place where there is real diversity among the attendees. The richest of the rich are in the stands with average Joes. Your normal, run-of-the-mill Thorobro can wind up right next to a Sheikh worth billions and billions of dollars. It turns out that the mint julep at the Derby features the same dichotomy. You can buy the regular julep (in a souvenir glass!). The regular julep is … well … not great. There is a ton of ice, a very sad looking mint sprig, and Early Times bourbon, which tastes like I imagine wood floor cleaner tastes like. On the other hand, for the great price of $1,000, you can get a julep with special Woodford Reserve Bourbon, ice harvested from the arctic (increasingly rare), and gold flakes or some ridiculous nonsense like that. Frankly, neither one offers great bang for your buck. But luckily, the Thorobros are here, with 5 mint julep recipes that will spice up your Kentucky Derby party and keep them coming back for more. If, on the other hand, you are going to be at Churchill Downs, you can probably sneak many of these ingredients in with you. I will warn you, however, that if you get caught with simple syrup in your pants, it’s an awkward conversation with security. Believe me. So without further ado, here are the top 5 mint julep recipes for Derby 2015: 1. The Itsaknockout: This is the perfect julep substitute for the Kentucky Derby party that forgot that they should have juleps. It’s going to be cheap and in-your-face, but it’s going to get the job done. The Itsaknockout has three ingredients (please note, all three ingredients are essential): 1) Evan Williams whiskey, approximately one shot (lol, more like 3 shots), served in a red solo cup; 2) a Splenda packet (gotta get that extra sweetness); and 3) one piece of peppermint Trident. Further, the Itsaknockout isn’t so much a drink as a sequence of events. You do each of the ingredients in order, and hope for the best. The best case scenario is that after about five minutes, you can no longer taste any of the Evan Williams. The worst case scenario is… actually, let’s be real. Anyone who actually drinks the Itsaknockout knows exactly what the worst case scenario is and is probably shooting for it. The name of the drink says it all. If you choose to make this drink the centerpiece of your Derby party, I wish you the best of luck. 
2. The Frosted: Can you have a frozen mint julep? Does a bear poop in the woods? And that’s just what you get with “The Frosted.” Start with a cup of sugar and three quarters of a cup of water. Combine the sugar and the water in a small saucepan and heat until the sugar dissolves. Add mint leaves and allow the mixture to sit until cool. Strain out the mint leaves, and set aside the remaining mint syrup. Take the mint syrup, one cup of Four Roses Small Batch bourbon, and a bunch of ice, and blend it until smooth. Since you are hosting a Kentucky Derby party, I trust that you spent your morning gathering and preparing various fruit rinds to use as garnishes. Go to wherever you have stored your orange rinds, and pick up a bunch of those. Yell at one of your guests to get the margarita glasses that you got for your wedding but haven’t used yet. Dip the rims of the glasses in sugar, pour in the frozen julep-y goodness add the orange rind garnish and voila! You have The Frosted. 
3. The Firing Line: This one is not for the faint of heart. If you like a little spice in your drinks, this is the mint julep for you. Begin with jalapeno flavored simple syrup (which you can buy or make yourself – to make it yourself, follow the same directions as The Frosted, but add jalapeno to the mix with the mint), then add that to your highball glass with 5 or so mint leaves. Muddle the syrup and the mint leaves with your wooden muddler or spoon, and then add a solid pour of Jim Beam “Devil’s Cut” Premium Bourbon. Include some crushed ice, a splash of club soda, then a slice of jalapeno for garnish. This is the perfect mint julep to get you “fired up” to sing My Old Kentucky Home and root home the Sunland Derby winner at Churchill Downs. 
4. The Stanford: This one is my personal favorite of the bunch. It’s called the Stanford because it has a vaguely red color, and because I couldn’t come up with a better horse name from this year’s Derby field (the Mubtaahij just didn’t have the same ring to it). In any event, this julep features Bulleit bourbon, rhubarb, a mint sprig, strawberry-mint flavored simple syrup, and a strawberry for garnish. This is the perfect drink for those of you having an Oaks party. Also, if you are trying to impress a potential love interest/Tinder match, just tell them that you are making drinks with rhubarb. Guaranteed conversation starter. 
5. The International Star: This drink combines two things that are great about the South: Bourbon and sweet tea. Combine Basil Hayden’s bourbon with chilled black tea, honey, a mint sprig and ice. Ideally, you would have those ice molds which make those perfect baseball sized balls of ice to put in your highball glass. Chances are, however, that unless you have a full-length beard and live in Brooklyn you probably don’t have one of those. This drink is fantastic. Unlike the Itsaknockout, I really encourage you to try it. It combines the flavor of sweet tea with the mild peppery bite of the Basil Hayden’s, accentuated by the mint – it’s delicious. You don’t get the name “International Star” without being one of the best. Just ask your Kentucky Derby points leader. 
